lizards and diapers and ferns

I bought this Boston fern last week at Lowes. I like it a lot and I hope it will survive our dry climate. I've been trying to gift it a humid environment by spraying it with water everyday. I also put an open diaper at the base of the urn, and then the fern in its original pot on top of that. That way, any overage of watering will be absorbed by the diaper and hopefully provide some humidity at the roots. Any tips or thoughts from fern lovers?

Unrelated to the fern, and twice as interesting, we had an un-welcomed lizard visitor for about 10 minutes. When we opened the door for a friend stopping by, a large lizard, trapped between my friend and the door, found his escape route into our house. He scrambled to a corner by the master bedroom door. Mark happened to be in the master bedroom, so I called him on his cell and asked him to save us/me. As soon as he opened the door, the lizard skidded awkwardly under the hall closet door. Not much traction on our wood floors - he was unusually slow.

Mark cleared 10 wheat buckets and the vacuum out of the closet, and I got a cheap disposable bowl so he could trap the thing. (The bowl went straight to the trash after this ordeal. Mark suggested I just wash it. Nope. Not a chance. I also mopped the floor.)

The boys were fascinated.

The release was a relief. But that lizard has since been back to his old tricks - hanging out at our front door, looking for bugs, I presume. Didn't he learn his lesson?

I could not have handled a lizard hiding in our house. What if I stepped on him in the dark? What if he crawled into my shoes? Or my bed? The. Willies.

rescue

yesterday the kids were out swimming with mark.  the house was quiet when all of the sudden the back door swung open and jonah hollered, "mom!  hurry and get the camera and come outside!"  

i did not know what to expect.  i grabbed the camera and followed his urgent plea.

turns out, mark saved a(nother) baby lizard from certain death in our pool.  i told you we are serious about our lizards.  this one stayed on mark's hand for several minutes to catch his breath, then he was off to eat some bugs.

LIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE

This morning, while I was attempting to go back to sleep on the couch, I opened my eyes long enough to see Mark run out the back door, exclaiming, " A lizard just fell in the pool!!!"

Without missing a beat, the emergency crew (Molly and Owen) were on his heels.  That's right.  We take our lizard safety seriously.  They eat the bad bugs, so they are pretty much royalty.  {Please don't tell me that's suburban legend, and they're actually vegetarians.}

The lizard was skimmed out of the pool alive, but when Molly came back in, she informed me, he had water in his lungs, and might not make it.

I am pretty calloused to the reality of lizards dying.  I can't get attached - there are dozens guarding our property all summer long.  I'd like to say hundreds, because that sounds better, but let's be real.

{Don't discount dozens.  Dozens are A LOT.  12 x 5?  12 x 12?  Who knows?}  

Usually, they are small.  Kind of gross, and mostly unimpressive.  But the other day Mark fished out a HUGE, very IMpressive, dead lizard from the pool.  It looked like someone's pet iguana.  Easily could have been sold at the pet store for $30.  {Anyone know if I'm even close on the price of iguanas?}

Then yesterday, his twin brother came by.  This one was a little smaller, but pet-store-worthy, for sure.  He stayed on our patio most of the day, even with kids in and out and Mark and I getting dangerously close.  He would only scurry a little, but held his ground.  I think he was looking for his brother.

Just keep your appetite up while you mourn, Mr. Lizardi*.

I think this story really could have gone somewhere.  More then I took it.  But let's not forget that my morning nap was interrupted and I am tired.  I just don't have it in me.

*Mr. Lizardi was my brother's 5th grade teacher.  I just remembered that.  Neil, let's see if you are reading my blog.